I have always been a very cerebral person and I couldn’t tell you a time where my mind wasn’t racing with thoughts. But recent reflection has made me realize just how much of my overthinking is due to FOP.
Shy, socially anxious, immature, however you want to label it, I am often uncomfortable in social situations. Whether it’s meeting a delivery person at the door to grab my food, going shopping alone, or worse yet traveling alone, these seemingly harmless events are nowhere near as easy for the disabled. Just in the last two weeks alone, I have had to ask for help to reach something off a top shelf in CVS, struggled to carry a large pizza box up to my apartment by myself while opening the door, and struggling to carry my suitcase up the stairs of a train on my way to Chicago.
Growing up my family and friends always said that I needed to grow up and get over my “fears”. They would tell me that I had nothing to be anxious about and I was just overthinking it. What they didn’t realize is that overthinking is often necessary for disabled people. I don’t have the privilege of entering a space and knowing it’ll be accessible to me. Sure, once I explain my situation people are usually willing to help, but that’s emotionally exhausting to do all of the time. I don’t think people realize quite how mentally and emotionally taxing being disabled is. I’m constantly thinking “what if there is no one around to help me”. If there is one thing that the pandemic has taught me, it is that people are not nearly as caring and empathetic as we’d like to think. Having to go through life hoping that I’ll find kind strangers along the way to help me when I need it is honestly scary. In a society that is increasing individualistic, I worry that one day I ‘ll find myself in a situation where no one is willing to help me.
So let’s say I’m in the CVS and I do find someone who is willing to help me grab the Nutella off the top shelf. It’s still unfortunate to know that I cannot go shopping alone. There will always be something off a high shelf that I need and I’ll have to wait until someone comes along who is willing to help. At CVS, it was 5 minutes that I waited. That might not seem like much, but imagine how helpless you would feel just waiting in an aisle for 5 minutes for someone to help you grab a jar of Nutella.
I used to be such an optimistic person, but as I’ve gotten older and seen more of the world I’ve seen how nasty it really is. I still believe that the human experience is a beautiful thing. But wow are there some really selfish people we share this Earth with. I’ll admit, I’m selfish at times too, we all are. But I’m also pretty selfless at times. If there are a few pieces of advice I could give able-bodied people it’s these: never make someone feel bad for asking you for help with something; don’t assume people need help, but ask if they would like it if you see them struggling; do something every once in a while for no personal gain. And as always: just be kind; you never know what people are going through.
Medulla Ossium 